(Blogger's note: this post is loosely based upon the series "Note to Self", as featured on CBS News. You can find examples of these stories at https://www.cbsnews.com/cbs-mornings/note-to-self/ . No blame can be attributed to the network, for what has happened here to taint the series).
"Hello, boy! I'm glad you came to visit; otherwise it's very quiet at this end of the hall. The staff come to find me at meal times, they sprint with my wheelchair down the hall for dining, then whisk me back down that long hall you walked up - so damned fast, I feel like I'm gonna fly through a window!
"You do look like me. I feel fairly comfortable talking with you, to tell you what I hope you can do, to avoid what's happened to me. Before I start:
"It is very quiet here. As I said. The nurse comes in and berates me for eating a Reese's Fast Break, right after breakfast. I had barely picked up my dog-eared copy of TRISTRAM SHANDY when she last burst in, proclaiming my diabetes would make me drop lifeless by Fourth of July next! Every word, every syllable of her screed cut through the quiet, before I laughed her way and raised the paperback to try again.
"OK: first, make sure it's the right time and place to hear something important. You may keep YouTube mixes of Tupac or Blake Shelton or Queen B., playing louder than Jeez in your house, because you don't like to be alone! Poo! When you can't hear yourself think, you don't THINK! Oh, sorry for yelling....
"But you gotta watch how long you're around loud noise - ever hear of Return to Forever, that fusion jazz group from long ago - I like to make you smirk at my musical tastes - ?? I saw those guys at the old Memphis Mid - South Coliseum, back when you could normally hear after a concert - they blew out my ears for three days! https://youtu.be/aN_Y7aNgvhs?si=4xl0v7jhQGjCbIqI
"Can you hear me? Please do that.
"RTF's speakers were cranked up to the max that night. You don't need that, but if they are - get farther away. If I'm in the dining area here and there is that insipid classic rock music they ALWAYS play, I don't talk with anybody there - can't hear 'em! They'll occasionally hear me in the office, and switch to that 'Easy Listening' arrangement of Zeppelin that I like. Then I can flirt with Josie who's at my table, like I mean it.
"Please do that. Hear me, boy?? Don't ruin your ears with noise!
"Hearing aids????? You know I lost most of my cash in that Crypto kerfuffle some years ago. Medicaid keeps me fed and housed, yeah - but if I had learned my lesson and did what I've told you to do...and that ain't all of it....wouldn't need tech - naw - luh - gee!
You hear me? C'mon over here, and give me a hug - there. Glad to see you - look into my eyes so I'm sure you'll hear me - come, back, soon - bye now!"
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