Stephen Covey got it right

Blogger' s note: Thanks to Jenniffer Weigel of the Chicago Tribune, for the inspiration for this post - "Outgrowing a Mentor: Navigating the Delicate Business of Moving On"

I complete another mentoring assignment soon with a new CSD professional. I noticed at work the other day, that this mentee feels good about being more independent. How do I know this? It was her asking less questions of me, or more to the point - she has moved to ask, when needed, questions of her peers and other staff. Earlier in my career, this would have been an almost painful moment - when the mentee left this training opportunity for greener employment pastures. All the energy put into this person, learning the fundamentals of doing a clinical job; this person is gone. I had been making the experience about me, and not keeping the focus solely on what the student needed.

The nadir of this whole mentoring evolution, came for me when one young person was facing a happy event in her personal life . I had been hoping for an invitation to the event, but - it did not come. Even though I had been this person's mentor in an employment setting prior to this one, I had also misread the level of our communication. I never told her that I had been disappointed. I had realized very clearly, how a mentoring experience needs its consistent borders and its skill set.

A character in my most favorite TV (cop) show once said: You've been around this dump for seven years and you still ain't learned the key to good murder police, which is this: Whatever you see, whoever's around you; you keep them at a distance. 

What I learned about good mentoring to close the deal; to make it easy for me to continue to take on mentees; it was- "Begin with the end in mind", popularized by the late Stephen Covey in _The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People_. How I adapt this concept to persons I mentor, is to modify a discussion with most of the persons I serve: "One day, you're going to be rid of me. That is the natural consequence of your success in what we do". 

From that point on, early in the relationship, I help the mentee learn the skill set of a speech-language pathologist  - beginning with the end in mind.